Bye Bye Baby Bye Bye...

By 2013, more than one billion people will own a smartphone according to a report entitled Handheld Device Convergence. But, according to the “world of Anita,” it might actually be only 999,999,999 people.

About a month ago, I wrote about purpose, and then, I went silent.  But not because I discovered anything.  You’d think I would have answers by now, but unfortunately it isn’t that easy.  I did, however, through the dredging up of past career steps and missteps,  realize that what I was missing was the journey.

First step in embracing the journey to my new identity and life? Go against the smartphone tide.

I’ve been too plugged in.  Too worried about what is happening.  Less screen tapping needed, more soul discovery.  So my cute HTC droid was ripped of its powers, and I recently went back to my old school phone.  I’m talking pre-Blackberry.  I now rely on a simple, and by all comparisons, outdated Motorola Razr.  I think it’s generation one of the phone.  Must be since I’ve had it stored for the last four years.  Received a barely decipherable text from me lately? Now you know why.  Texting is nearly impossible for me on this thing, how did I handle that in the past? For now, I call people more often.  A simple solution that has led to an interesting realization: Voices are nice.

Two weeks in, and, other than the texting issue, things are good.  I’m less worried about email, facebook and twitter updates throughout the day and more focused on the task at hand.  And imagine this, email is almost a highlight again.  When I come home, I get all the day’s emails at once.  I sit with a cup of tea and read, respond, forward, mark as spam, etc.  It is a concentrated email zone, rather than a minute-by-minute distraction. Yes, a novelty for now, but will it last?  And admittedly, if I were still running a business, I would want and need a smartphone.  But I’m not.  And I need to break away for a bit.

Any bets on how long I will last sans droid?

I’ll still blog (did consider giving the Glossy url for a moment), tweet and facebook, but I’m being more careful to ensure these tools don’t take over and distract.  Step one complete.

Step two, decide about investing in licensing for East West’s evergreen content.  Make a decision and move on, continue on the journey.  I must stop getting stuck.  This one is harder…

Makeup brushes are washed, workout clothes are set for the morning and I just applied a peel for some skin rejuvenation (thanks, ArizonaSpaGirls. This one works great!).  Basically, I’m back.

I’m coming out of my writing and living funk, ready to take to the blog once again and set down a sparkly new path.  What got me up and going again? Let’s just say it was my own mini version of some real housewives drama (yes, I love those shows, and I have no shame about it!).  I won’t bore you with the details here, but the point is, drama, as destructive as it can be, is often also enlightening.  Another’s utter ridiculousness can sometimes lead you to reflect on how much you can and have accomplished.

I won’t lie, the gaping hole left by East West is still not filled, but I find that I am getting closer to patching it for good.  And I have realized that I can only get there here.  I have to write it.  I don’t necessarily need you to read it, but I have to write it.  Confused? I’ll fill you in, I promise.

Purpose is a weighty word.  Not just a single destination but rather a multi-faceted hue that guides our actions. Yet today’s find-yourself culture throws it around a bit too causally for my liking.

Many seem to think we each have one singular purpose to achieve. This is as simplistic as saying one job, one career path will satisfy and serve our being for our entire lives.  Google “purpose in life,” and you’ll see what I mean.  Apparently, the answer to your purpose is just 20 minutes, and some cash, away.

I’ve obviously been pondering my purpose quite a bit lately.  What I can do to serve and what will in turn serve me? Where do I belong now that East West is gone?

The allure of career is strong, but so is the draw of settling down and starting a family. Yes, kids.  I’m one step in both directions, but not fully entrenched in either.  Must I be? Please, oh pretty please, don’t say we can do it all.  Don’t bombard me with simplistic idealistic thinking. Life is not so black and white.  So, so many grey areas…

I have no answers yet.  For now, I continue to make a good living consulting, but wonder daily if I will find the career oomph again. As for family, just the other day I sat my husband down and told him we need to discuss what type of wife I want to be.  He just chuckled and gave me that “you’re so funny and cute” look.

And so it goes…

Sure it hasn’t even been a week, but I’m ready to move forward.  Married life feels good…now what?  Trust me, I wish I could rest.  Simply not in my nature.

Our ceremony and reception were everything I could have wished for. Friends and family came out in force, and it was great to see our upbringings collide.

We sat down to watch some of the raw video footage from the event  last night, and seeing my all-American, singer songwriter husband break it down Indian style during the groom’s procession (baraat) made me absolutely giddy.

We had fun.  That was our motto and we stuck to it. That day, I was an oddly calm bride according to those around.  I was just happy to be there.  All the details faded into the background. I was even calm when I was told that the groom had lost his pants, his traditional Indian shirvani pants that is! 

I was simply happy to see friends from the various chapters of my life come together. And as much as I didn’t want the shadow of East West to be present — since this happy time was bittersweet only due to the magazine’s closing being so recent — I realized it was East West, it was that chapter in my life, which made so much of May 22nd a reality. 

Friends, past colleagues, event folks, etc…the connections the magazine brought into my life made this day special.

So cheers to my husband, my family and my friends for showing me a good time. And cheers to East West for its impact not only on readers nationwide but for its impact on who I am today.  I can’t deny it, I had a marvelous East West wedding.

Now, it is on to the next phase. The day after the wedding I briefly considered a wedding planning business.  One word:  Bridezillas.  I don’t need that type of drama in my life.  But I won’t rule out a wedding related endeavor in the near future…

Some wedding photos:
http://dianaelizabethblog.com/2010/05/montelucia/

http://www.ryan-nicholson.com/blog/?p=1014

When a 100 pound golden retriever puppy is playing anything can happen.  Trust me, I know.  On Monday afternoon I got thrown to the ground.

It wasn’t Max’s fault.  He’s at the age where motor control is still a wee bit underdeveloped, and he was actually doing me a favor by playing it up with my two 10-pound pups, Timmy and Marky.   However, there is a lesson in this: Always keep your eye on the big dog or he might run straight into you.   

This morning my stiff and achy legs hindered my ability to duck into my car at an adequate angle.  Bam, a new injury, I hit my head. 

Yet still, a glutton for punishment, I hobbled into my client site.  And despite my injuries, I had the clarity of mind to hear an employee say this as I walked toward my work area, “I’m not sure, but it is one of the foreign girls that works over there.” 

No matter where I go, or how dizzy I am from some self-inflicted wound, I find that we haven’t come as far as we think in terms of diversity and cultural understanding.

“One of the foreign girls,” is an employee who happens to hail from India.  She works as hard as anyone else, if not harder, and she has a name.  I ask, what makes her more foreign than anyone else there? 

The conversation struck a chord and reminded me of a piece we ran once in East West.  The topic: how do you use the word “foreign?”  What does it mean to you? Who is truly “foreign” and what stereotypes does the word conjure up?  

I personally find the term insulting.  To me, it is layered with stereotypes, and in actuality most of us were “foreign” in this country at some point or another. 

It is one of the ten words I want removed from our global conversation.  And it is a word that stands for everything East West was trying to do away with.  What I overheard was just another sad reminder of a gaping need.

In the Dark Ages, I wrote a thesis on electronic commerce.  It was quite revolutionary if I might say so myself.  This morning, nearly 12 years later, I saw it out on a desk in my home office, my fiancee was discretely reading it.  Quite a trip down memory lane.  But wait, what is he doing rummaging through my stuff anyway?  (Thoughts for another time I suppose.)

All the Web architectures I discussed in that study have long since been used, abused and tossed aside.  But back then, it was all quite new.   I was emerged in it and eager to learn.  It is odd to think about this past life.   And yet, in a way, I have come back to my IT roots as I am now consulting while planning what is next for me.  But then again, earlier this week a programmer colleague  asked me to edit her writing….just ironic.

If ever curious about my brilliance (lol), find the thesis at the Arizona State University library.  Just saying…

I drove to my consulting gig yesterday feeling a bit glum.  I had a sporadic flash.  I call them East West glory memories, which are usually followed by a few moments of remorse about all that has transpired in the last year.  Thankfully, these are becoming less frequent, and it is likely that yesterday’s was only brought on by an interview request from the managing editor over at Folio magazine. 

They wanted my thoughts for a story on relaunch efforts. I was happy to oblige since I have, if nothing else, learned some tough lessons that other publishers should be aware of.

As the day went on, I got a dose of perspective.  If I have passing feelings that my relaunch plan was foolish, at least I was wise enough to know when to stop or reign things in. Apparently, the leaders over at 944 media don’t.  Millions in debt and a bankruptcy filing haven’t stopped the company from entering yet another market.  And ironically, the average consumer sees them as a wildly successful pub.  I guess kudos is in order to their marketing team

Get the scoop here:  http://www.foliomag.com/2010/saddled-debts-944-media-launches-another-market

If you read my column at Foliomag.com on Monday, then you got the news.  Yes, I’m getting married!  My musician and I got engaged in late February, and we’re planning a quick turnaround wedding.  In fact, from the engagement ring to the wedding band it is exactly 90 days.  Sooo, I’m just a wee bit busy.  But after running East West for the last several years, I think this is one challenge I can handle.  Still, if you have any suggestions or quick ideas for brides on a budget, I am all ears!

This recent shift in my life has had me reminiscing, during planning lulls of course, about my East West editor’s columns.

Through my storyteller editorials in print, East West readers have always known me as the single gal who not only had to navigate clashing cultural expectations in the career realm but also in relationships.  Content on being single at an age far beyond East Indian cultural standards, I still admittedly always felt lost in a cultural gap.

The perfect princess cut has done little to calm this.  Call me confused and full of contradictions.

Here is the editorial that began it all, your connection to me. This editorial received more comments than any other article in that issue and it was the beginning of my personal tone. It is from way back in 2004.  It’s an  interesting reference point for this journey, even for me.  Read it here.

And since wedding planning is now a part of this glossy exterior, I’ll have a section or a category here dedicated to planning thoughts and for venting my bridezilla proportion frustrations….if I have those, but I am so sure I won’t.  Either way, it won’t be ALL wedding talk now.  I’ll continue to give you the insider’s look as I craft my journey post magazine, this is just one part.

Oh and yes, it is an East West wedding — this applies to our lives, our families, our traditions and our viewpoints on how large the reception should be!